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The pain of things as they are now. The pain of things as they are now took over this morning; a deep sense that I did something wrong and unkind when I believed that I was doing the right thing. And then there was the punishment that followed, the punitive behavior I’ve had to bear after learning that I was mistaken and should have known better.

I wish I had known better but no, and you can't go back in time.

What photographic image would illustrate the pain of things as they are now, of being ostracized? What photo would illustrate the suffering of feeling shamed and stupid for not knowing that my actions cut another? How do I show sorrow for regret and wrongness followed by punishment? The kind of punishment that makes perfect sense to someone else, maybe even everyone else, but I am forced to grapple with and study daily?

This is the exploration and the uncovering of the path that I am walking. It’s the photograph that I’m searching for.